believeinrecovery:

A little table to how to get rid of all that negative self-talk. We have to learn look at the good in situations too, instead of dwelling on things we can’t change- because you know what? We may not be able to change what is happening but we CAN change how we view it! 

92,924 notes   -  16 April 2014

1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.

2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.

3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting,see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.

4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.

6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.

7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.

My father’s recipe for the man I should marry (part 1/2 of a series). /// r.i.d  (via inkskinned)

Best thing ive seen all day

115,330 notes   -  6 March 2014


newwavefeminism:

blackinasia:

Source: Truths You Won’t Believe

Debunking more lies and racist misinformation about black men. Stop the ignorance and start to question why these myths exist in the first place, if not to demonize black men and promote the image of us as inherently criminal and violent and incapable of being educated. 

This coupled with the recent realization that black women are the most educated group…

It seems like there is this always present “when is the ‘black community’ going to pull themselves up from the bootstraps” question that floats around everywhere I go. Yet on micro and macro levels black excellence and success is only growing exponentially with each year - despite racism, institutional barriers, lack of privilege, colorblind ideologies and rampant gentrification.

Now imagine the gains we’d be able to make if people were willing to have these conversations and actually think critically about our society and culture

62,279 notes   -  2 March 2014

noshoes-noworries:

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77,807 notes   -  26 February 2014

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tessmunster:

#truth

tessmunster:

#truth


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realitytvgifs:

me

242,034 notes   -  8 February 2014

Do not let the boys come to you with their mouthes like promises and give you nothing but cruelty. Do not love them for their idle kindness. Do not give yourself the impossible task of curing their blindness. Do not count your flaws to distract yourself from theirs. If they tell you they are a sex addict and you are better off forgetting them, do not ignore them. Bruising your knees in response will not make them sorry. Do not destroy yourself so they will stay. Do not forget that you taste like a gun wound when you smear red over your lips. That your hips represent three generations of starting over. That loneliness has bore its way into every woman in your family and yet, here you are, so willing to share your mouth full of stars. It’s no wonder you choke up whenever you lie outside alone. You are the universe in tangible form. Born Ready To Bleed | Lora Mathis  (via cyclicaltangents)
2,519 notes   -  8 February 2014

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself. C. JoyBell C. (via observando)
1,452 notes   -  7 February 2014


The Sexy Lie, Caroline Heldman at TEDxYouth@SanDiego

122,191 notes   -  6 February 2014